30. Female Backpacker Type B

female-backpacker-type-b11The majority of female backpackers fall under two main types: the Type A and the Type B.

Female Backpacker Type B is a bookish explorer. She gets straight As. She used to sing in the high school choir, or play clarinet in the school band. A self-declared “citizen of the world,” she turns her nose up to the general crudeness of the “party backpacker” scene (a scene openly embraced by her counterpart, Miss Type A).

In a movie, she’d be played by Emmy Rossum, Erika Christensen or Rebecca Hall. Who the F are they? Exactly. That’s why those actresses play her. She’s not a scene stealer. More like a cute dork. But make no mistake : She is NOT HOT.

She studied psychology, anthopology or art history in university and has no idea what she wants to do with her life (a common condition among post-grad backpackers). She’s considering teaching English overseas or working for an NGO before making a real career decision (also a common condition among backpackers).

Female Backpacker Type B is a militant vegetarian and can be seen making a stink about the lack of vegetarian options on the menu, in restaurants the world over. Due to her keen sense of social justice, she is more than happy to cause a scene defending her rights or somebody else’s.

She is unafraid to fuse styles and resemble a crazy old hippie lady, wearing local souvenir garb alongside designer sunglasses and quality outdoor gear (see above photo). She wears grandma panties and refuses to show unnecessary cleavage. In spite of her conservative dress, she may have a tattoo about the place or engage in some uncharacteristic drug/sexual experimentation while at the place. She is human, after all, she confesses.

female-backpacker-type-b2A reader of this blog, Maya, describes Female Backpacker Type B as follows: “what scares me much more (than alpha females) are those chicks… sort of intellectual, specky, vegetarian, tea drinking, not using the f-word, wearing tie-dye stuff and organic hemp bags, etc. i’m sure they are all really nice girls… i consider myself a feminist (yeah, being feminist doesn’t actually mean one has to become a total dude) but somehow they always make me think they should just buy some really slutty underwear instead of the terry pratchett books!!!!!!”

Agreed. But I have no idea who Terry Pratchett is.

Speaking of books, she ALWAYS reads the book about the place en route to the place (or while at the place). She has a voracious appetite for sightseeing; she goes to bed early and gets up early, so to beat the line-ups at the Louvre, the Vatican City, Venice, the Egyptian pyramids and Angkor Wat. She is planning a hiking trip to Macchu Picchu with her girlfriends but worries that if she waits too long, they will all be settled down, having babies and averse to adventure. Perhaps she’ll simply do it on her own (after teaching English overseas or working for an NGO).

Like the aptly named Natalie Keener, Anna Kendrick’s character in Up in the Air, Female Backpacker Type B is lost in a dichotomous idealism: a hurried checklist of things she intends to see and do before reaching her goal of having a successful career, settling down with the perfect mate (with a lengthy checklist of necessary traits), having babies and somehow remaining as ambitious and adventurous as ever. Good luck with all of that.

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9 Responses to “30. Female Backpacker Type B”

  1. ekimswish says:

    What about the dude backpackers?

  2. Maya says:

    Oh-em-gee, that’s kinda exciting to be quoted! That’s definitely a point to which I won’t ever get in my academic career. Anyways, i’m glad we agreed on this one. By the way, i knew one who got both nipples pierced, i never realized before that they all do this kinda stuff.

    Anyways, best of luck with other this year’s pieces of the very amusing politically incorrect hatred.

  3. Gillian says:

    I know this type all too well…Victoria’s full of female backpacker type B’s…although that said, as an ‘ethical meat eater’ and self proclaimed ‘environmentalist’ she likely wouldn’t be caught dead on an airplane due to the guilt caused by the carbon footprint 🙂

  4. Liz Warner says:

    this blog is quite funny! 🙂 I wish you had more types of female backpackers

  5. Lindsay says:

    There are definitely more types than that. At least I know I am neither Type A or Type B.

  6. alice says:

    I am going to have to agree with some of the comments here (@liz, @lindsay).

    A key difference between your sardonic ruminations and “Stuff white people like” is that there is limited gender-specific observations (excluding #11 Asian girls).
    The comments are general inclusive on “stuff white people like” as oppose to exclusive i.e. “things bogans like”, where we can laugh at the silly-stupid bogans. After reading your blog, it is apparent “things I hate about back-packing” is not-inclusive of backpackers. Rather than including fellow travellers in your observations you just out-right trash them. Especially, female back-packers.

    You come off being sexist (or just not understand them maybe?) if you class women as some kind of anomaly in backpacking. By your count your either a type A or B. Nice way to exclude your female readership.

    If you want to be read exclusively by males include some more observations like #3 “hot girls” and #41 which has the caption “This is a decent reason to get into soccer”. If you do that you might get people like me a female backpacker (unfortunately not type A or B) never having to comment on your blog ever again. And just so you that your little type-casting mind might just explode I’m hot, clever, adventurous, and I backpack.

  7. Nick says:

    Well there’s the Type β ͣ …
    who is simply a hybrid of A+B.
    But at least you guys don’t care too much about
    the kardashians or dumb shit like that. so props for that.

  8. Continually writing like this will draw in a lot of viewers keep up the good, work.

  9. corridor7f says:

    There are hot female backpackers, guy. There are hot human beans in just about every category of life, I think.

    Perhaps your P.O.V. on us is a result of your… lack of action? Just sayin’.

    Do a Type A / B Backpacker on men and I’ll call it even.

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